05-08-2013, 12:47 AM
Howdy Pilgrim.
I'm new here and this is my first review, so take it for what it's worth.
Firstly, I was able to read a stanza and picture the scene very clearly in my head. Nice job. I love being able to "see" a poem.
Secondly, I agree with some of the other posters regarding the rhyming, but what is poetic license if we can't USE it from time to time?
Lastly, and this is merely a personal preference, when a poet requires the reader to change the basic pronunciation of a word (i.e., accenting an incorrect syllable) to meet the objective of rhyme or metre, maybe the poet should consider another choice. For example in your poem, the word 'privilege' in s2.
OK...one more. There was a bit of a disconnect for me with the word 'ego.' I sense disappointment regarding the ingratitude, which you have already expressed.
OK. Done. A pleasure reading your work. Hope you'll give mine a going over.
I'm new here and this is my first review, so take it for what it's worth.
Firstly, I was able to read a stanza and picture the scene very clearly in my head. Nice job. I love being able to "see" a poem.
Secondly, I agree with some of the other posters regarding the rhyming, but what is poetic license if we can't USE it from time to time?
Lastly, and this is merely a personal preference, when a poet requires the reader to change the basic pronunciation of a word (i.e., accenting an incorrect syllable) to meet the objective of rhyme or metre, maybe the poet should consider another choice. For example in your poem, the word 'privilege' in s2.
OK...one more. There was a bit of a disconnect for me with the word 'ego.' I sense disappointment regarding the ingratitude, which you have already expressed.
OK. Done. A pleasure reading your work. Hope you'll give mine a going over.