Chris?..

[Cody Phoenix]

Hi Cody Phoenix,
I think you've done a good job with this poem, and although it is obviously a very personal poem to you, I felt that it also invited me "the reader" in to be part of it, and therefore understand it. I think this is mostly due to the way you wrote it, as you would say it to your brother. This made it flow very fluently. Also you have some wonderful phrases such as "your face is emotionless and looks like you're breathing the ocean in" good line. The phrase "we are confined by the limits we've chosen" should sound cliche, but to me the tone of the whole poem enables you to carry it off without sounding cliche.
A couple of points, now and again at points I noticed that it did slip into rhyme, which for me affected the rhythm of the poem, especially at the end where it sounds almost a little bit corny. But all in all I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
Thanks
AR

I am glad you liked reading this, I appreciate the feedback. Thank you very much, I'll be sure to post more sometime!