War of Hearts

[serge gurkski]

The second stanza of your poem has 2 inner conflicts.
I will just shortcut it by showing you a possible solution.

1. S2 l1 and 2: Syntax.

"Pulling me close by a handful of hair,
I know he is fresh from a fling,"

Pulling me close by a handful of hair,
he - as I know - is fresh from a fling
or:
Pulling me close by a handful of hair,
he - and I know that - is fresh from a fling.

( Was this a French poem, you could move "he" before "pulling". Terminus technicus is: Topicalisation)

2. metrics

Let me show you the syllables on which the accent falls:

Pulling me close by a handful of hair,
X x x X x x X x x X
I know he is fresh from a fling,
x X x x X x x X
wisely I keep a poker face,
X x x X x X x x
running short on lies.
X x X x X

=

l1: Xxx Xxx Xxx X
l2: xX xxX xxX
l3: Xxx Xx Xxx
l4: Xx Xx X

solution:

l3 must mirror metrically l1

and l4 must mirror l2


But first you must switch the pronouns in l2:

if you went for my first solution, the pattern would be:

he - as I know - is fresh from a fling
X x x X x X x x X

= X x x X x X x x X (the new l2)


Now you do this: go to your original l2, c/p the X-line below it and move this orignial X-line right below
our new X-line. then you get this result:

new l2: X x x X x X x x X
original l2: x X x x X x x X

Now you see that the rhythmic pattern of new l2 does not much that of original l2 (the distribution of accented (X) and unaccented (x) syllables ist not the same, but should be.

Of course these fumy lil Xs and xs have funny greek names, but I spare us that. ,-) because I urgently just another route 66. ,-)

hugs

roby


O


cheers
serge