Resurrection (second edit)

[Volaticus]

Hi Volaticus,
I've been looking forward to read this since you said that you were going to rewrite it. I read it yesterday probably not too long after you posted it but I wanted to read it a few more times before commenting.
My first impression yesterday was that it was very complicated and with the benefit of being able to read the first two versions I think there is a freshness in the original version that is not in your new version.
You've got some excellent images in there and I see you brought back the good images from the original. Also I noticed that you must of spent a lot of time making sure that the rhyme and meter were correct.
How do you feel about it compared to the other versions?
Also like you I thought 'inscripted' was a word, but Pilgrim is right, (he's a clever chap), it should be a word though, it sounds right.
Hope that some of this has been of some use, I'm no expert by any means so I can merely say what I feel.
Thanks.

Hi ambrosial revelation,
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, thank you very much.
And I think that you're right, that it's very complicated. I think it's like Pilgrim said - a message in code. It's only because I wrote the poem, that it makes full sense to me, but of course it also has to make sense to the readers. I would very much like to make a good rewrite, but I have one problem - I can't seem to pinpoint what's unclear. I try to read it with objective eyes, but still I can't find which parts that needs to be rewritten. It was the same deal with the first rewrite. Rather frustrating. Does that make sense?
I'm glad to hear that the meter and rhyme were right.
I think I prefer the original - it's more.. original, in my humble opinion. Though not very readable.
You're right, 'inscripted' sounds like something that should be a word. Too bad it isn't
You've been of great help again. Thanks a bunch