untitled
#3
(04-23-2013, 09:41 AM)allykat727 Wrote:  Aw such a sad piece Sad I could really feel your emptiness. I would suggest "A balloon soars past that escaped from the boy" because that extra syllable with 'having' seemed to interrupt the flow. Good job Smile
Thanks for the suggestion, it definitely fits nicely. The word "having" did stick out to me but I was unable to find a suitable replacement.

Thanks for taking the time to read Smile
Reply


Messages In This Thread
untitled - by disintegrator - 04-23-2013, 09:12 AM
RE: untitled - by allykat727 - 04-23-2013, 09:41 AM
RE: untitled - by disintegrator - 04-23-2013, 05:50 PM
RE: untitled - by Volaticus - 04-24-2013, 06:23 AM
RE: untitled - by disintegrator - 04-25-2013, 07:01 PM
RE: untitled - by Zerric - 04-30-2013, 10:38 AM
RE: untitled - by Brownlie - 05-04-2013, 01:24 PM
RE: untitled - by pepes.kitty - 05-04-2013, 02:08 PM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!