04-23-2013, 08:14 AM
I can feel your loss and longing. I like the way you personified your chest: "it sleeps alone". Just a few critiques . . . I wasn't particularly fond of the repetition of "no longer" in the first stanza . . . the first two lines in stanzas 4 & 5 are a bit cliche. Other than that, I liked how the first three stanzas all paint a picture of your lover lying with you. Maybe you can continue to paint that scene in the rest of the piece. Good work 