An April Stroll (second edit)

[Volaticus]

FIRST EDIT
Ducks peck in the water
Paddle in slush-iced pond
I crumble up my sandwich.

What do you guys think? Did I manage do improve it or just screw it up? ;-)

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I tried to do a haiku, with an idea I got from a walk outside :-) I'm not quite sure if it's done right, though?

An April Stroll
Ducks peck in the pond
Paddle in slush-iced-water
I pour out my lunch.

I toss in breadcrumbs

Thanks a lot for your suggestion I thought of that myself, but then ended up not using it.

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what about
ducks peck the water

the 575 isn't writ in stone

I like that. Thanks
I didn't know that the 575 wasn't written in stone. But now I know

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I've edited again, hopefully you'll like