Have you ever been cheated on?

[Ganman]

Some of us are needy freaks that can't appreciate what we've got. And so we drive our lovers to love all around, or love all around ourselves.

Rarely, IMO, is one party solely at fault. Usually the relationship is failing for mutual lack and cannot provide the needs of everyone involved; yet no one wants to really say that out loud. In which case people should be more astute and less reluctant to see how its not working. Then they should fix the problems or split (unless there's a very, very good reason not too, for which both parties are willing to sacrifice).

So now that you've gone your own way, commit to being honest with yourself and with any future lovers. Keep an eye on the overall relationship, and judge whether or not that is healthy. If it seems to not be healthy, you can well expect someone to stray (and it may be you).

If I'm being honest, I know myself. I was lonely too, that last half of the relationship, and there were times it was extremely difficult for me because she just stopped talking to me. She wouldn't admit it, but in hindsight, I'm aware she was seeing some other guy, because from the moment he stepped in, our relationship started going downhill. I don't think she could handle the long-distance anymore. I'm sick of making excuses for her though. What she did was selfish and cowardly. She's living with him now, actually, and even now insists that they haven't seen each other naked, and that they're just best friends who spend 70-90% of their days together and sleep on separate bunks.

What she's done is dishonest, cowardly, disloyal, manipulative, and selfish. So no, I don't think we're all capable of cheating. Even during that, I foolishly committed to her, because that's just what relationships are to me - a commitment. I would never, under any circumstances, have cheated on her. Not one day when I was with her did I take her for granted. She sent me a file a week before I broke up with her citing 23 reasons why she loved me. It was the cutest thing.

And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to justify her actions anymore. That's how she controlled me. She took advantage of my willingness to believe in her and used it to have sex with other guys behind my back. It was because she was codependent, and had low self-esteem, and couldn't handle not having a guy around. I believe there are plenty of people out there, who respect themselves and respect their partners and would never cheat on them, and I'd like to find a girl like that someday.