04-19-2013, 03:03 PM
I used to beg my ex to go to a prostitute or have an affair, anything to get him to leave me alone after I'd had a baby and an episiotomy... but no luck there. Then I found that I wished he'd beat me or do something that would get other people to understand how abused I really was -- but those scars don't show and people only want to know about bruises and broken bones.
So no, I haven't been cheated on. I just really selfishly left someone who had systematically destroyed everything that made me me. He even set fire to all my notebooks and formatted the computer so that I had no record of any creativity for the 13 years we'd been together. Yes, it was partly my fault. I had been a trusting 19-year-old who thought that the attention of an older man was flattering, especially after he convinced me that he provided the only attention I'd ever get. Even now, a good few years down the track, he believes he did nothing wrong.
So no, I haven't been cheated on. I just really selfishly left someone who had systematically destroyed everything that made me me. He even set fire to all my notebooks and formatted the computer so that I had no record of any creativity for the 13 years we'd been together. Yes, it was partly my fault. I had been a trusting 19-year-old who thought that the attention of an older man was flattering, especially after he convinced me that he provided the only attention I'd ever get. Even now, a good few years down the track, he believes he did nothing wrong.
It could be worse