04-19-2013, 03:45 AM
I enjoyed your poem and the feelings expressed therein.
I felt like between lines 5 and 6 the flow of the poem was obstructed.
The poem has a fun rhyming scheme, but the subject matter isn't really cheerful. I think that can be fine and a good way to change perspective, but I think you could perhaps go a little deeper.
I felt like between lines 5 and 6 the flow of the poem was obstructed.
The poem has a fun rhyming scheme, but the subject matter isn't really cheerful. I think that can be fine and a good way to change perspective, but I think you could perhaps go a little deeper.