04-19-2013, 01:33 AM
I liked the poem and the idea that you were expressing.
I felt as if the beginning of the poem flowed and just ran through my mind a lot easier than the middle where it kind of fell appart. I think it's because the first 4 lines rhymed so it was just skated through my mind.
I think that you could probably expand your vocabulary a bit more, because even though it was a little poem, i got a bit bored with the lack of variety.
I don't really know if I'm being too mean or not aha. I don't really know much about poetry so this is all opinion and no knowledge.
Good luck with your poems.
I felt as if the beginning of the poem flowed and just ran through my mind a lot easier than the middle where it kind of fell appart. I think it's because the first 4 lines rhymed so it was just skated through my mind.
I think that you could probably expand your vocabulary a bit more, because even though it was a little poem, i got a bit bored with the lack of variety.
I don't really know if I'm being too mean or not aha. I don't really know much about poetry so this is all opinion and no knowledge.
Good luck with your poems.