Bingo Night (Language)

[billy]

i think centre align is okay when it's a rhyming poem, and non center aligned when it isn't ( not a rule or anything, just an observation) at present your end rhymes need tidying up a bit. shoulders/shoulder blast/arsed chest/breasts etc. the meter in places is a bit jagged but the content is very likeable. i like the natural voice of the poem (apart from the odd place)

thanks for the read.

When I'm old you can fuck
Thursday's bingo night.
I won't make cream cakes
and Angel Delight
There'll be no beige sweater
on my bony shoulders.
I'll have no pills for
my week's tablet holder.

Because when I'm older is because needed?
it will be a blast -
for old expectations
I cannot be arsed. won't or will not, cannot is present tense
I'll throw out the dentures,
and take it from me
I won't hear The Archers
on Radio Three

I'll go on a cruise
on some sunny sea -
take advantage of the
handout martinis,
sit back in the sun
and bronze my dear chest. great image
It's been thirty years
since I got out my breasts. made me smile

I'm sure that you'll call
for my whereabouts
you'll be furious -
I haven't a doubt
but if there's one thing
that I've planned outright,
when I'm old you can fuck
Thursday's bingo night.