the sweetness of dark

[Heartafire]

The penultimate verse, though well-written and effective, feels at odds with the rest of the poem. It's violent and upsetting while the rest is sweet and mildly erotic. Speaking of which, the sensuality here is very well conveyed, with a flicked tongue, a taste of sea salt and streams between breasts. Thank you for the read

Hi Heslopian, thank you for reading and your comments. The somewhat disturbing verse re the seahorse is intended to reveal contrary forces that pull the N, the need to drift away for a moment.
best,
Heart

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Hello Heart, strong images here, good choice using a dock as the setting,
as they seem to ooze intrigue and mystery! I'm guessing that it's a hot humid night,
and your emotions are as choked as to the seahorses more physical plight?
The last stanza stanza is a pearl!
Don't give up on this one, it had me looking for more even with the strong ending.
Thanks for sharing a most enjoyable read, cheers.

Hello Popeye, wonderful insight into this little poem!
"I'm guessing that it's a hot humid night,
and your emotions are as choked as to the seahorses more physical plight?"
You have nailed the reference to the choking seahorse perfectly. Thank you so much for reading and commenting,
my best,
Heart