04-14-2013, 09:32 AM
The penultimate verse, though well-written and effective, feels at odds with the rest of the poem. It's violent and upsetting while the rest is sweet and mildly erotic. Speaking of which, the sensuality here is very well conveyed, with a flicked tongue, a taste of sea salt and streams between breasts. Thank you for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe