04-12-2013, 03:30 AM
Hi,
I thought it had a good flow in the beginning. But it's very abstract. And to me it's mostly just a lot of words.
I think it needs some clear images, to depict the agony of the words you chose.
It needs some tweaking. Try playing and experimenting with images, sentences, words, etc.
I thought it had a good flow in the beginning. But it's very abstract. And to me it's mostly just a lot of words.
I think it needs some clear images, to depict the agony of the words you chose.
It needs some tweaking. Try playing and experimenting with images, sentences, words, etc.