Where I must be...edit 2, trueenigma,edit 1. billy the cliche killer

[tectak]

I have a need to know about these cap wearing buzzards that are as pure as faith and prayer. What is up with these buzzards?

milo

Hi milo,
I am still stuck on the problem of disassociating (syntax wise) the buggering buzzards from the brassieres. I hoped originally that by using "bosom" to describe the bens followed by "cUpped" rather than "cApped" would carry it, but I am doubting myself,now.
A few fun changes. Thanks for input.
Best,
tectak

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I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens,
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer.
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick;
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.

I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays;
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass panes on sun-sweat days.
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes;
still-clear as gin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand.
I sip the land,
as raindrops dance in Highland haze.

I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time can fade.
I need to be
where I must be.

Tectak
Sheildaig
2013

there is something amusing about buzzards wearing white hats that will always bring a smile to my face.

The sonics are nice throughout (although the alliteration is heavy handed with a blushing self awareness). Some of the lines 'sound' so nice and fresh it is easy to forget they don't actually hold water ('brittle breeze' 'glass panes on sun sweat days').

Also, the writing is a high enough caliber that I want some closure, some explication. Yah, you need to be somewhere, I need to be at work, for a paycheck. They are not going to pay you to hang around in Scotland, retired or not.

Still, fun read.

milo

Hi milo,
history now, but changed panes (n) to paned (adj). Any better Thin ice, you see.
Best,
trctak

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I really like it, but there are one or two niggles...

I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens,
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer.
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick;
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.

I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays;
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass paned on sun-sweat days.
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes; bryophytic is fine... it's of marginal technicality at worst
clear as poitin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand.Poitin is Irish... this kind of spoils the moment for me
I sip the land,
as raindrops fling in Highland haze.

I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time will fade.

I need to be
where I must be.

Tectak
Sheildaig
2013

I owe you an apology or at least an explanation. I used gin clear to start with. A cliche. I know the scottish "clearic" but it was too close to "clear" I am considering "clear as shot" to get back to whisky but accept that poitin is more Celtic tha Gaelic...I excuse its use with the "but". "Clear as poitin,peat soft, BUT strained through quartz and sand."
The Torridon range is quartzite peaks on sandstone braes.
Best,
tectak