Chiromancy

[PoetryAndPhysics]

Hello Crepuscule. Well written, also it’s always good to pick up a few new terms, though I read your poem side by side with an image from google labeling all the lines…

I woke and lay and watched
The nascent sun seeping,
Diluting the screen of dark:
Forms emerging...
Your arms and your hands.
I read your fortune as you slept.

Not much to add on S1, I like your two sun lines. Woke presupposes laying (unless we’re talking about horses) so perhaps the “and lay” can be nixed (and more than just woke and watched).

I traced the lines.
Head line, heart line,
Fate and, below the rest,
Concealed by beads and
Woven thread:
Bracelet rascettes, augmented.
Carved from Venus to the Moon.
Epithelialized.
Stretched, still-pink, fading.

I like your descriptions, but it sometimes feels like S2 is just a list of lines. Also, google tells me that bracelets and rascettes are synonyms, maybe only keep the latter.

You woke and smiled and
I smiled back.
But I knew your smile was newborn,
Vulnerable. Exposed.
I held you and said nothing.

I’d like to know more between the palm reading part and the hug. What did the narrator find (for example)? You just say the narrator is vulnerable without anything else…

Think that's all for now. Good idea for a poem, and edit does look better than the original

Gary