04-11-2013, 07:36 AM
Like everyone else, I think that it is very moving (stealing your words there Volaticus, sorry).
I would try moving around the enjambment. Take a few lines and merge them together, see if it works.
If you blinked you'd pass it
but Danny knew that.
Danny was a fool - he would sing to me
at Little River just after the washboard.
It might help it flow a bit better.
A lovely poem though
I would try moving around the enjambment. Take a few lines and merge them together, see if it works.
If you blinked you'd pass it
but Danny knew that.
Danny was a fool - he would sing to me
at Little River just after the washboard.
It might help it flow a bit better.
A lovely poem though
- Amy
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)
(You wouldn't be surprised to know my parents did not christen me UnicornRainbowCake.)