04-11-2013, 03:00 AM
I really like the first stanza. I agree with the previous critiques. I think that it can stand fine just as it is, but the 2nd and 3rd stanzas are the weak points and might be stronger with some re-wording. I was thrown off by the change from "her" to "you" as well, but that may just be a personal opinion. Very good poem though. I enjoy it more and more each time I read it.