Where I must be...edit 2, trueenigma,edit 1. billy the cliche killer

[billy]

I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens, i googled but never found the bosom bens, i'm figuring it's a type of fungi. good opening line.
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer. good image
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick; could something better than sticks be used? i know it works with click and slick but it feels out of place. a stick usually being a dead thing.
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.,

I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays; cracking image
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass paned on sun-sweat days. and again
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes; i'm sure it works but wonder if it works well enough? i'm guessing many will view bryophytic as being something akin to greek syphilis
still-clear as gin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand. clear as gin is cliche extreme
I sip the land,
as raindrops fling in Highland haze.

I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time can fade.
I need to be
where I must be. the last 3 lines feel to poetic/forced.

Tectak
Sheildaig
2013

i enjoyed it till the end where i think you ran out of good sentences to use
still an enjoyable read

Hi billy (you bastard)
Of all people....Bens are Scottish mountains....bosums. Well, tit shaped then.
Everything else, especially the gin, will be dealt with most severely. The "high clicking sticks" are the dead branches that click in the wind and drop their needles. Not common in Filly-pines? I am surprised.
Thanks as always. You see things others miss or are too polite to mention...yeh.
Best,
tectak

now you mention it (bens) i see it, i thought tits were bosoms