04-10-2013, 06:44 AM
(04-10-2013, 06:20 AM)milo Wrote:(04-10-2013, 12:36 AM)tectak Wrote: I need to be where buzzards broach the bosom bens,there is something amusing about buzzards wearing white hats that will always bring a smile to my face.
cupped in white cotton kufi and pure as faith and prayer.
I need to feel the brittle breeze first numb my brow and then
upon my cheek, high clicking sticks shed needles slick;
I feel no pricks,
just pine scent in the gloaming air.
I need to be where snow-swans slide on silver trays;
in leaf-dark shaded water, glass panes on sun-sweat days.
I need to drink fast streams that leach from bryophytic braes;
still-clear as gin, peat-soft but strained through quartz and sand.
I sip the land,
as raindrops dance in Highland haze.
I need to be where sea sobs shore...
Where wild hart roar…
Where stars are crushed…
Where nights are hushed…
Where air is made…
Where time can fade.
I need to be
where I must be.
Tectak
Sheildaig
2013
Hoist and petard! I knew I had shot an elephant in my pyjamas!
The sonics are nice throughout (although the alliteration is heavy handed with a blushing self awareness). Some of the lines 'sound' so nice and fresh it is easy to forget they don't actually hold water ('brittle breeze' 'glass panes on sun sweat days'). brittle breeze is a drying wind....you nearly got it. It holds no water. Stick dry and dessicating, the icy easterlies (pun) turned everything crisp and as brittle as if dipped in liquid nitrogen. There were serious incidents of fire daily. The "glass panes on sun sweat days" fails. Though the air was cold, the sun was very strong. We walked, sweating, beside lochs frozen into panes of glass. I have a picture. I was meter bound. I was rhyme tied. I was , frankly, fucked. I will look at it again.
Best,
tectak
Also, the writing is a high enough caliber that I want some closure, some explication. Yah, you need to be somewhere, I need to be at work, for a paycheck. They are not going to pay you to hang around in Scotland, retired or not.
Still, fun read.
milo
(04-10-2013, 05:52 AM)serge gurkski Wrote:Bryophytes are an "order" which includes moss. There are bryophyte study groups and societies world wide. See "bryology". It is second nature to use the word in mycology as many fungi grow in, or are "associated", with moss (Mushroom from "mousseron". French for moss)(04-10-2013, 05:11 AM)Crepuscule Wrote:;-) damn. Is it common usage in Scotland?.(04-10-2013, 05:07 AM)serge gurkski Wrote: (for now just thumbs up for: "bryophytic ". Not the slightest clue what it means. ,-)Mossy.
I want it recited; bryophitic braes.
Look and learn.

Best,
tectak

