04-07-2013, 01:49 PM
Hello there, Im new to writing poetry and this is my first serious attempt to writting a poem so i'd love some feed back.
My Journey
the ups and the downs
the beginnings and the endings
the difference in a town
is where there is mending
unhappiness became my life
destruction my vice
with an inner strife
that made me like ice
Then you strolled in
putting me in a stupor
then finally poked by a pin
made me realize im a trooper.
From destructive to constructive
the hatred disappears suddenly
my love for you, so conductive
my life changes abruptly
You brought me happiness
made me have an epiphany
finally a gift from venus
you changed me so skillfully
You are a goddess
beautiful isn't the word for you
whoever made you is a true artist
as elegant as when the wind blew
I have nothing but hope
to see you and I
go above this slippery slope
and desire to touch the sky
Hope isn't enough
it also requires luck
or it will be rough
to get out of this muck
I call this my life
i've traveled this path
as you see it is not rife
and i have felt some wrath
My Journey
the ups and the downs
the beginnings and the endings
the difference in a town
is where there is mending
unhappiness became my life
destruction my vice
with an inner strife
that made me like ice
Then you strolled in
putting me in a stupor
then finally poked by a pin
made me realize im a trooper.
From destructive to constructive
the hatred disappears suddenly
my love for you, so conductive
my life changes abruptly
You brought me happiness
made me have an epiphany
finally a gift from venus
you changed me so skillfully
You are a goddess
beautiful isn't the word for you
whoever made you is a true artist
as elegant as when the wind blew
I have nothing but hope
to see you and I
go above this slippery slope
and desire to touch the sky
Hope isn't enough
it also requires luck
or it will be rough
to get out of this muck
I call this my life
i've traveled this path
as you see it is not rife
and i have felt some wrath