04-04-2013, 11:32 AM
(04-03-2013, 09:44 AM)Icebreakers27 Wrote: I find myself running aroundHi,
finding things to do,
Just to keep my mind
from wondering back to you.
This bed is cold, despite my cover,
Still two pillows, absent one lover.
My dreams are haunted
By the memory of your flame,
All it takes is the thought of your name.
This house is empty, cold and dark;
Lifeless and dead without your love's spark.
I wish I could find the answer to this crime.
For once I welcome, the swiftness of time.
I quite enjoyed reading your poem, and the most of it had a good flow.
Two things though, came to me. Line 6, though I really like this line, to me it did sound a bit clumsy. Minor detail

And in line 12: I can't find any other references to a crime, so that confused me as a reader.
Cheers

