The Waiting Game (second edit)

[UnicornRainbowCake]

I don't think it's paticularly bad, but it's not my favourite of what you've written before. I'll go through it for ease:

I wish I could begin to tell you,
Just half of what needs to be told,
All the dreams to unfold,
And all that I have to withhold.

The first three lines are needed to set the scene but like you said are very cliche. The fourth line on the first read through doesn't immediately click, you have to stop and compute the wording. It's quite long worded which interrupts the flow. (Or at least to my simple mind..)

In endless screaming, Maybe just adding 'our' before 'screaming' might add some more depth to it
Something to believe in,
Something to stop it all,
To stop the fall,
And wake the crawl. This is quite unclear
But then again,
I ask, my friend:
A new beginning? A bloody end?
A demon's femur, or Heaven sent? I love these four lines, and even if you don't continue this poem, save them for another

I know it's not our time,
To see the curtains flow.
A winter, smiling backwards,
Always asking where to go,
Must take it slow.
(My vertigo,
Out of control,
Of things that matter,
And what to behold.) This stanza is a bit abstract (for me).

I probably am being a bit too critical as this is in Novice, but I think you have 2 options with this. You could either go through some real reconstruction of the weaker lines, or take the gold out of it and use that to create a new poem. Honestly, I'd do the latter - I don't think that the point is put across strongly enough that it wouldn't be better completely redone. I hope you don't mind me saying all this, as I adore some of your other poems and could see this one being as good.