03-31-2013, 05:42 PM
This is one hell of a story, and well told to boot. That being said i don't think the first line needs "another" and "desperate", it didn't really add much for me, unless maybe it was "yet another". I think an interesting idea would be to introduce you both in the the first line or two, him taking a sip "as" or "while" you rolled his cigarette. The last line didn't need it anyway, looking at him and wondering if he can drive already says it all, and sets up the ending very poetically. You may want to loose the abstract "Skeptically" though, and instead describe what the skepticism looked like on your face.