Chrysanthemums

[Todd]

Hi, I liked how this started, but then I felt buried under a lot of exposition. For me, your poem would be stronger with less. Maybe start your revision with the following lines and ask yourself if any of what was cut needs to be reintroduced:

You once presented me
with a bouquet of chrysanthemums.

I had been angered by your decision
to pick such a cheap and common flower -
though pleasant at first,
they lost their petals quickly,
the young buds surrounded
by a tight net of waxy leaves -
like a shield
from the rich and honest soil
that had once settled underneath.

I had decided, that evening, to leave you.

You'll soon present her
with a bouquet of roses.

Just some thoughts.

Best,

Todd