Heartful Tune

[Todd]

Hi, welcome to the site! I love the name you've chosen for yourself. Here are some comments for you:

This is a good idea for a poem. We tend to link songs with moments in our life, and the relationships we had when we first heard them.

I think you want to express the essence of this idea within these sentences you've put down here. Right now, you have a free write that could be a poem, but isn't yet.

Read this yourself and ask, does my title point me in the right direction. I don't think it does. To me your true title is "Those Same Songs"

Let's say you made that change, pull that phrase out of what you've written and reapproah your idea. Now remove all filler, and try again. Consider making your strongest lines your opening. The truth about poetry is in many ways everything needs to be your strongest lines.

Here's an example to point you toward what I'm talking about not to rewrite this:

Those Same Songs

Sound like my tears at night
Today I'm remembering
less memorable moments.
Once joyful tunes


And so on...

Not saying that's a perfect approach, but I hope this helps.

Best,

Todd

Today I'm remembering. Smaller, less memorable moments. While we were busy making memories, the music we heard at those moments are now affiliated with the raging heartache I feel when I hear those same songs. It's those same songs that used to be joyful tunes with upbeat melodies and moving lyrics that now all sound like my tears at night when I await the sound of your bass that never sounds the same in any other soul. Those songs that sting my chest when I hear them on the radio.