03-26-2013, 06:23 AM
I Take this as the jealousy a widower may feel towards young couples displaying their love without care and wanting to murder them so a well told story, if I have it correct, great flow to the piece somewhat spoiled by your edit if I could suggest you combine the two added stanzas into one three line opening eg
I’m all alone,
with no life left
no food, laughter or smiles
Or something that keeps your original flow also when you post an edit it helps the reader if you keep the original with the edit so the changes are easily read without going through the thread. Hope this helps TOMH
I’m all alone,
with no life left
no food, laughter or smiles
Or something that keeps your original flow also when you post an edit it helps the reader if you keep the original with the edit so the changes are easily read without going through the thread. Hope this helps TOMH
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out