Time of our Lives
#4
(03-25-2013, 09:14 AM)tectak Wrote:  Bruised blue and broken veined, the corpse
of failed intentions lies between two worlds.

Ok, you deserve much more than I am going to give right now but I feel a need to convey my problem here.
The first line is brilliant - visceral, crisp, metric. Then you throw the whole thing with your "of failed intentions"

abstraction.
why?

milo
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Messages In This Thread
Time of our Lives - by tectak - 03-25-2013, 09:14 AM
RE: Time of our Lives - by billy - 03-25-2013, 12:55 PM
RE: Time of our Lives - by tectak - 03-25-2013, 04:55 PM
RE: Time of our Lives - by NakedBear - 03-25-2013, 03:40 PM
RE: Time of our Lives - by milo - 03-25-2013, 03:42 PM
RE: Time of our Lives - by softlyfalling - 03-26-2013, 05:26 PM
RE: Time of our Lives - by tectak - 03-26-2013, 08:32 PM



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