Life, My Life

[Todd]

Hi Culture,

Here's my advice: This strikes me as a free write that gets to where its going eventually. Your last line is very good. I would probably try again and use that line as your title.

My heart is cold just like December

Then draw from that theme. Keep your imagery cold.

See where it takes you.

Just a thought.

Best,

Todd

I'm new and whatever advice you could give me would be wonderful thanks alot in advance

I watch, I watch my life pass me by,
I watch my life through the corner of my eye.
I want to take charge I want to make a change,
But why do i feel as though trapped in a cage?
Struggling the breath,
In pain gritting my teeth.
Whats the point? "It's not gonna work,
The times running out on the clock"
I run around helter skelter,
But only to find i have one shelter.
This cage , this cage in my heart,
This cage i want to tear apart.
I want to open up to someone.
I want to talk,
Maybe when I'm finally free even go for a walk.
Yes i know I'm not bond,
But what is that ringing sound?
Oh yes now i remember,
My heart is cold just like December.