I know it’s winter still

[milo]

Thanks again Milo,
I will keep your suggestions in mind.
I have posted two more poems, could you please comment on them as well? It would be a great help.
Here are the links:
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-The-beautiful-lies
http://pigpenpoetry.com/Thread-When-He-created-you

I can certainly give it a shot, I am not sure how much depth you want with the read though. A full deconstruction might seem a bit harsh for the gentle forums, did you want me to just offer a summary, a couple tips or rewrite them as sonnets?

milo