Comme un Violon

[DoReMi]

Comme un Violon

Your fingertip confessions
Resonate on my arching neck.
You breathe deeply,
Lips parted.
I sing with every rhythmic stroke
On my humming body.
We are as one
Making music.

I know it is my second one today....I will do LOTS of commenting to atone

I like this. Very erotic. It flows beautifully, and creates a very intimate tone. My only query might be with the last line. The metaphor of music making throughout is very strong, but I can't help but feel that "making" despite the alliterative appeal, isn't a very strong verb - it doesn't quite match the strength of the passion in the rest of the piece. I know this is unhelpful, since I can't think of an apt replacement, but does this feel true to you? Can you think of anything stronger, which flows as well? Sorry for my inability to be properly constructive.