03-23-2013, 03:43 AM
It intrigues me that you chose your form to accentuate your intent...often that is satisfying even if too esoteric for most readers realize with a first reading.
I was expecting something about the Passion of Christ so I had to reorient from the outset. But, because you speak of the passion of love, the language is oddly impassioned and antithetical to the theme. The thoughts are insightful but so very detached from a state of fervor...unless this detachment is exactly what you intended. If this is true, then the denouement might actually be more focused on steadfast love juxtaposed to reckless passion.
In terms of the form and technicalities...I am going to hop on Todd's coattails and beg the issue.
I was expecting something about the Passion of Christ so I had to reorient from the outset. But, because you speak of the passion of love, the language is oddly impassioned and antithetical to the theme. The thoughts are insightful but so very detached from a state of fervor...unless this detachment is exactly what you intended. If this is true, then the denouement might actually be more focused on steadfast love juxtaposed to reckless passion.
In terms of the form and technicalities...I am going to hop on Todd's coattails and beg the issue.