Dandelion Woman

[milo]

hi leanne

She is seeded, but her sleep is
not neatly bound in beds –

don't know that the 'but' works. Not really a contrast between the 2 that I can discern.

it spreads over rock and rill,
sprinkling sudden blooms
in sharp cut lawn

most of the poem is too well formed to be skipping articles. might just make it 'lawns'.

Her head rises to catch
the unscented breeze –
she will not let it pass
without a perfumed gift
for those she is yet to meet

this is all fine except for possibly 'gift' which feels too . .hrr m m m . . . pedestrian?


In every sense
she sweeps the earth
with her wild song

maybe trim the last line, don't really see what it adds. was this to be a musical number?


all in all a quite 'well mannered' poem. A pleasant little read.


*A gift for a lovely lady and a fine poet