From dirty kitchens to hospital beds.

[NakedBear]

I actually thought about this one. Help a sista out.

Fifteen seconds ago I thought we were all hard, viscid,
red water spewing deteriorating sink membranes
through golden, amber, caramel, mahogany remains.

I can see everything but the sink. How does that fit? Otherwise very vivid, and grotesque too (in a good way). EDIT: duh! kitchen! Still, sink and membrane seems a weird image to me, but may just be an unfamiliarity with such a thing.

.

Reacquainted with death I am,
seeing daylight in folded shades
plucking voices, eardrum to spades.

Speaker is in the grip of death, and is fading out fast? But maybe she'll recover, since this isn't her first brush with man's old friend?

That's the impression I'm getting.

You could drop "I am", I think, and end S2 L1 with a period. Or, put a period between 'death' and 'I'. As it is, "I am" sounds a bit hokey to me.

It's a well painted picture of death and dying, I think. Short, and effective.

Mikey.