03-20-2013, 10:07 PM
I feel like you can do better with the ending.
The last two lines aren't as jarring as I'd expect them to be. The content at first made me want something terrible or happy to happen. I don't know I may be just babbling.
The last two lines aren't as jarring as I'd expect them to be. The content at first made me want something terrible or happy to happen. I don't know I may be just babbling.
I'll be there in a minute.