To My Neighbor Girl

[Mattie]

The original version is in Swedish. The Swedish version rhymes. The poem is autobiographical. I would like to hear your opinions on it. Thanks!

Neighbor Girl,
You wake me up full of life
Your fair voice is my beautiful morning song
So amusing my life is- why is your life amusing, are you a clown?
My love life is unjust- again a statement, we'd like to know why
I'm bound by your love spell
Intoxicated by your love wine
Your are my wildest fantasy
Be forever mine

-

Hi SonOfAlbania, when someones states a piece is autobiographical I'm a tad reluctant to comment, however you have asked for opinion to be honest it's not telling me anything new in a different way, yes I can see you're in love with the girl next door, but this piece- to me, rather lacks passion and has many cliches, just a few considerations
regards saeity.

Hi

I have to agree with saeity.

If you have a Thesaurus use it.