03-18-2013, 03:42 AM
hi softlyfalling
this one really struck me. wasn't expecting the end at all, and it hit much harder because of that. absolutely lovely. I think in this one, free from the restraint of meter is much more effective than the other you posted.
as I finished it I wanted to reread it immediately--not because I didn't quite get it (as usually happens with me ;p haha) but because rereading it with a new context was totally different. as if it were two different poems. personally, I think that's awesome. well done.
just two little things-- don't capitalize every line, just when you need to for the sentence break. it'll feel a bit more raw like that. and maybe change "the chair" to "that chair".
thanks for this. =]
this one really struck me. wasn't expecting the end at all, and it hit much harder because of that. absolutely lovely. I think in this one, free from the restraint of meter is much more effective than the other you posted.
as I finished it I wanted to reread it immediately--not because I didn't quite get it (as usually happens with me ;p haha) but because rereading it with a new context was totally different. as if it were two different poems. personally, I think that's awesome. well done.
just two little things-- don't capitalize every line, just when you need to for the sentence break. it'll feel a bit more raw like that. and maybe change "the chair" to "that chair".
thanks for this. =]
_______________________________________
The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.