I hadn't noticed the meter -- you're trying for iambic pentameter in blank verse? That explains why you've left out the article before "cosmic sea" -- but on that line "geocentric" really throws the rhythm. You could fix that easily by changing it to "Thus forming geocentric cosmic sea".
S1 L5 is off-meter in that case... "expression" might be the problem, is there a two syllable word that would fit there?
PS. Doesn't archipelago always reference islands?
S1 L5 is off-meter in that case... "expression" might be the problem, is there a two syllable word that would fit there?
PS. Doesn't archipelago always reference islands?
It could be worse