03-16-2013, 11:38 AM
I think you have some very strong emotional content here and it has a lot of potential to make a strong poem.
That being said, I think the one main weakness is the organization and flow of the poem. Everything seems a bit erratic at the moment. Maybe if you just took some time to think more about the organization and structure you could make this a much stronger piece.
That being said, I think the one main weakness is the organization and flow of the poem. Everything seems a bit erratic at the moment. Maybe if you just took some time to think more about the organization and structure you could make this a much stronger piece.