spiritual

[Mattie]

Hi Mattie,

Here's an example of enjambment:

love of the lord and his mum,dove of
peace green leaf for Noa's ark.

If you look at those two lines for instance. You're not stopping the thought of the line on the line with end punctuation or even the words themselves. You're having the phrase flow from one line to the next. "dove of/peace... The problem with this kind of arrangement as you have it is a line break is meant to be read with a slight pause and this type of construction makes your poem read choppily. Thinking of it another way, it's an issue with your line breaks. Simply using these same lines, breaking on prepositions or weak words is usually a bad idea. What you're looking for is making breaks that give you a layered meaning, and are interesting without being gimmicky. When it feels more neutral and you can't get either of those, you at least go for enhancing the flow of how the poem is read.

Let's look at one more line of yours to give you a layering example. Not saying this should be your break on the line, I'm just illustrating:

her son empowered with love peace rock 'n roll

Since we know you're speaking of Jesus in this line everyone expects love. So, here would be an example of a line break that would bring a bit of surprise and give a layered sense of meaning.

her son empowered with love
peace rock 'n roll

The reader will read the line, get one meaning, than go down a line and it will shift slightly.

I hope that helps some.

Best,

Todd

Thank you Todd

This is very helpful
Thanks