One in a Million

[Leanne]

Hi Claire. I like the idea of this poem and I think the way you turn it into nearly a palindrome is quite effective. The problem I have with it is that in the middle, it becomes very wordy and loses focus. You start (and finish, obviously!) with a fairly tight rhythm but this is lost when you move to the more sentence-like longer lines and it's a shame. My suggestion to fix it is to go through those middle stanzas and decide which ones are most important, which ones could maybe merge together and which could be thrown out altogether. Once you've done that, you'll have quite a nice little poem that fully communicates what you mean.