Brass Bold

[Wildcard]

Hi Billy,

This is great I love the way that I am lead slowly into an understanding of what exactly is going on and that it wraps up really nice and tidy-- meaning that about the time it sank into what was happening exactly, the poem was closing and left me with much to think about.

Casually she rubs under her breast,
then lights a bong with the lighter --I don't particular like 'lights' and 'lighter' so close together. Perhaps an alternative form of 'lights' would be better?
she stole from the handicap charity shop, --is 'that' needed here?
where she use to work part time.

Plump like a calf
her tits loll across her upper arm. --I don't really care for these two lines. The next two are nice, but these seem forced. Plump like a calf just seems weak to me
Eyes wide, she squeezes smoke deep --The best part so far to me. 'Eyes wide' gives me the feeling that she is only happy when she is getting high-- or perhaps she is trying really hard to be happy by using the weed, but maybe it doesn't work really
into cavernous lungs.

I kiss the small of her back
just above crease of a Ruben's arse.
My thumbs rest in the dimples
at the base of her padded spine.

"fuck off you dirty old bugger," -- Great way of letting it be known without telling.

she snorts like a pig hunting truffles. -- So vivid-- this is perfect!
Tells me to leave the money
next to the enamel basin on the wash stand. --can't say why but 'enamel basin' makes that room so much more real to me. I even see a particular beige-colored basin like the type used in the low-rent motels
I think about leaving a tip.

She wasn't worth it.

I think the closing line could be a little stronger-- maybe even funnier would be nice. Like

'I think about leaving a tip,

but steal some weed instead.'

Not that particularly but some kind of turn-- earlier the speaker was kissing the small of her back which indicates being really into her and now she wasn't worth it? Is that intended to make the speaker look selfish? Or just a slight against the hooker?

Anyway, I like this. Best I've seen from you in a while.

Thanks for sharing.