03-09-2013, 10:25 AM
I think you have a great start here. I enjoyed it even with some of the meter and scheme problems that will resolve themselves through editing. I think you should try cutting out the you's as much as possible. For example; When winter is a month too long. In other words write it in the singular voice, about yourself and then allow me to insert myself into the poem through empathy with the authors emotions.

