Hung Up and Dry - revision

[billy]

it's not to bad. two hungs is one too many. keep. the enjambment feels off in some places. an example would be the 3rd line, by removing 'it' you remove the problem of where to place it. some words like sublime feel forced. i enjoyed the last stanza

You kept to your word,
how absurd I didn't believe
it at the time, and still

you professed you were fine
when I rung, so I hung
up the receiver; sublime.

They found you hung
like a bathrobe upon the door.
Blackened, a memory so raw

your worn out blue shoes
dangling below the noose.
I’m still drunk from your illness.

You, with a sign
round your neck
do not disturb.