Empty table

[billy]

i liked the 1st verse but after that it feels like it's trying to hard. the 1st line of the 2nd sets the mould for the rest.
it feels like there's too many words
trembling waves of courage would probably do the same job without bludgeoning the line
sometimes less is better, don't forget images either.

thanks for the read.

Clapping dust in streams of sunlight,
I tread barefoot on creaking planks, no need for i tread, follow on the next line does the job for you. you may have to make follow, following
follow the trail to places I’m sure of,
shaded by the dim lit lamps. no need for 'the', not a bad opening

Trembling oceans crash waves of courage,
wash away nerves to fermented graves,
peer over rims to catch your arrival,
mouthing words, rehearse ways to behave.

Crumbling thoughts into piles on a side plate,
setting a place at our table for doubt,
subtle the shame of the waiters basket,
last supper spent, I make my way out.

Your wardrobe contents are all worn,
my numbers typed but failed to press,
makeup smeared, run with tears,
you couldn’t settle for second best.