historical ethics

[Todd]

Hi Goldyfish,

A couple comments here. This is a much more focused write. I like what you've done with the edit. Line comments:

three fifths, that’s all you were to us.

endless streams of backs--Evocative open line. Maybe, stream singular. Also under this line you may want to add "that's all you were to us" and just make the title three fifths.
bent yet innocent--yet innocent is a bit telly. Could you come up with an image that expresses innocent as a substitution?
warped with work
walk and obey.

wrapped in colorless blankets
you huddled together
for comfort.not necessary. The image does most of the work. You could condense some too if you wanted to "huddled together in colorless blankets"
you reached for hope
while hating it.

and you sang of love
from the fields of fabric--This phrasing (which I really like) is so much more effective laid out like this
the love of a creator.--the punctuation feels off. You have an option to play with this idea a little more. One of the justifications for slavery was that it was a fair trade because these godless heathen received God. Not saying you have to touch on it, but you have the option given the setup
not the hushed and silent love
you felt
at night. with the heavy breathing all around--like this for what it adds
loudly lumbering through sleep
the day was kept away
for some time longer
to refill the strained hearts
(but just enough
and sometimes not…)

blood still screams from
the unforgetting unforgiving ground
seeping upwards
it creeps
it weeps
for a time lost
to innocent malevolence.--this is an abstract ending that isn't that effective. I would recommend ending on an image. You have blood seeping upwards you've mentioned cotton earlier. You may be able to play with the image of blood being a seed that is pushing its way toward a bitter harvest. Some image of reaping what you sow might pop better. Just a thought.




[a theme from my giant "nation of peace" reworked]

I like seeing the work you put in on this. Like I said, it is a stronger piece.

Best,

Todd