02-27-2013, 10:03 PM
Hey! Love is a thought thing indeed!
I like the desperation you express in your poem. Good!
Just want to make a comment... it looks more prose than poetry to me, and i think is mainly from the chaotic rhythm it has... Maybe you should try to work on it a bit more. But, i am no expert at all in poetry, so... just keep it flowing as you feel it, and listen to comments of more expert poets.
Thank you!
I like the desperation you express in your poem. Good!
Just want to make a comment... it looks more prose than poetry to me, and i think is mainly from the chaotic rhythm it has... Maybe you should try to work on it a bit more. But, i am no expert at all in poetry, so... just keep it flowing as you feel it, and listen to comments of more expert poets.
Thank you!