Déjà, déjà Vu (or déjà, déjà, déjà vu)

[billy]

the 2nd verse is really excellent. i was taking a chance with the interpretation of the first line, first verse, so i my be out in that verse, other than that no nits. i enjoyed the read, the title works well, better than i thought it would. it's clever and works well with the turns you have going on.

Backwash slays the army of small pebbles on the shore; all i can think of is tsunami, which works for me. small pebbles being people in it's path.b]
swamped by the foreign foam from distant land.
I watch stone soldiers run, God-left in this war;
then faithlessly they fall, and turn to sand.

Once the burning Buddhists lit the conscience of our age;
the sea that moats around us quenched that flame.
I feel that I’m no cleaner, though I memorised the page,
that turns and turns and turns… but reads the same. [b] there is something about this line that is amazing, it says nowt yet opens up visions of prayer wheels and simpler places. the whole of this verse feels like a prayer wheel waiting to be spun

Fire, come cremate us! Water drown us all!
For we, kings of our destiny, want war!
Again, again, again we rise. Again, again we fall;
to share the dust with others…who have walked this road before. nice closing, i like the ranty feel it has. i also like the lack of hope that it's embude with


Tectak ( Ooooo shit! I've gone all serious)
2013