What's the funniest critique you've ever read

[shemthepenman]

I had just got to the microphone at open mic in Greenwich (london), I was about 20 - 21, my first public reading; nervously I read the title, 'The Metaphysical Exposition of the Concept of Space [after Kant's German]’ and I proceeded to read this long and painful poem about loss and death and heartbreak that had taken many a miserable hour to compose... and, once I had finished, penetrating the silence came a lone and drunken voice,
'you're shit, mate!'

[i'm not sure this counts as I didn't read it, I got it live, but it still makes me smile to this day]